Ice, Ice, Baby… and Crock pot mail?

29 Mar

First, I have an announcement— HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MARMAR:

My right eye has a white spot... that looks weird. I look weird.

Okay…

Hi. Ice, Ice, Baby! I would keep reciting the ‘Ice Ice Baby’ song… but alas, that is the only line I know.

Aren’t you sad? I know, I’ll sing to you some other song… if I ever am capable of learning lyrics.

La de da dum!

It is Monday.

I have a light for a face... awesome.

This is me, all bundled up about to go to the gym. I look like this every morning.

Don’t you like my stick legs and super warm fitted coat with fur lining? I totally rock the Russian spy look with this thing on. I absolutely am in love with this jacket. It is like wearing a sleeping bag… and I may or may have not slept in it before thinking it was a sleeping bag.

(I was really tired, okay? No judging.)

So on my way to the gym, I step out the front door and find this in the front yard:

Titanic iceberg?

Oh, hey there, random ice-cubes. Look at this picture, the sun isn’t even up all the way. It is early and already…. something weird is on our yard.

Seriously, what is up with this?

We decorate with... ice?

Okay, I know most people string random knickknacks in their yard, such as wind chimes, trolls and gnomes (very creepy if you ask me… its like they know something that you don’t), and those really ridiculous ducks that change outfits 76 times throughout the year. Seriously, those stone ducks have a better wardrobe than I do.

But ice-cubes? BALLS. (as J would say).

I decided to ignore it, walk past the army of cubes freezing on the grass, and go running.

___run____running____still runninggggg________________________________okay im done.

THEN 8.5 miles later, I returned home and Pirate father said there was a letter for me.

A letter, for moi???

I love mail! Who has sent me mail? Oh, I love them for sending me mail! I shall mail them back! Hooray!


But wait…HOLD ON A SECOND…

it is like 9am… the post has not come yet (that sounded very British). I asked him where he got it from.

(Are you ready for his response, brace yourself Reader.)

“It was in the crock pot,” he said calmly.

As if, finding mail in the crock-pot was a completely normal thing, like finding the soap in the soap dispenser.

“The CROCK POT?” I question.

Crock pot that hoards mail.

He says not only did he find a letter for me but also a check of money for him. He was in a very good mood because of this while I was very puzzled.

He obviously, was not going to question the crockpot-that-produced-mail because it produces some green for him.

Me, on the other hand, the crock pot was not so nice. It produced this in the form of a letter:

REJECTION LETTER from crock pot

A job rejection letter.

Add kitchen appliances to rejecting me. Email, letter, phone calls, and now crockpot. Nice.

This particular rejection was dated on Feb. 2nd (so apparently the crockpot ate the mail almost TWO MONTHS ago) and I applied for this Nashville, IN job in November.

I don’t love them and am not going to send them mail back.

(sticks out tongue and makes a face)

ALTHOUGH, I could mail them back and explain that I just go their letter out of my crock pot and now it has found its way into my trash can.

-L

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2 Responses to “Ice, Ice, Baby… and Crock pot mail?”

  1. J March 29, 2011 at 11:12 pm #

    BALLS is right!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Puppy: To have or not to have? | imakeeper - April 4, 2011

    […] is almost as bad as the ice-cube vomit in the […]

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