Rants

MAIL- FAIL!

SO, naturally like any Blues-Clues addict, I love mail. I love receiving it, I love giving it (that sounds dirty), I love seeing the little mail truck go by and running outside and opening the mini-house that is home to all mail things. I love all the little stamps, the different colored cards, I even love the cards that are not normal sized and cost extra to mail. I even love junk magazines, such as the ones that sell really odd assortments of things for old people- like rubber bath mats, butt-padded underwear that are high-waisted, and canes with claws on the end so you can reach items high on shelves.

But today, I was develivered mail that was a failure. Two separate fails to be exact.

Item number one :

HAIR LOSS FOR MEN…

HAIR LOSS + MEN + ME(YOUNG WOMAN) + HAIR (I HAVE) = WTF?!?!?

First, sorry for the backwards image, but my camera is not working and I had to use PhotoBooth. Secondly, WHY? How did they get my name? Address? Did they notice that my name is FEMALE and is not a middle-aging bald man? I mean it is not like I have one of those names that could be for both genders, like Erin/Aaron or Kyle/Kyle or Sam/Sam….. Also, my pirate father recieved the SAME exact flyer. He is a man. He is bald. He has no hair. This makes sense.

The inside is worse:

Get rid of all your gray… or get rid of just some gray.” Um, I’m sorry but that is the worst line I have ever heard in advertising. Really. It even includes pictures of older good-looking men smiling and having a grand time just like those herpes/STD’s brouchures with really ridiculously good looking couples on them so you think “Yes! If I have herpes I will be good looking and have an amazing love life with an attractive man!” What a load of crock. Or is it cork?

Anyways, mail fail two is this:

“RETURNED FOR POSTAGE”

I wrote a letter to my man, only decided that it really didn’t need a stamp because apparently love letters travel by love and don’t need any stamps, just like how letters to the North Pole really go to the North Pole.

This would explain why he has not received it yet.

Rant is over. – L


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